Assalamualaykum warahmatuLLAH

time flies.

sometimes, i never knew, why things happened the way they were.

sometimes, i ponder, why would things turn out this way.

sometimes, i found myself wondering in the tunnel full of maze, looking for the way out.

and sometimes, the way out is never there.

and as time goes by, the answer will eventually resurfaced.

be it right or wrong, my interpretation is.

i will keep on pondering.

things are meant to be this way.

easy things are never meant to last.

there is one thing i learnt along the way..

h.a.r.d.s.h.i.p is how you spell happiness, at least in my dictionary it is.

ah well.

afterall, Inna Ma'al Usri Yusra

Alas, things happened the way they are

One way or the other

Dictated by the All-Knower

As He knoweth what best for me

and from Him i seek solace and serenity from

... and to Him i belong...

and, to Him i shall return.

130909

Newcastle road

Galway,

Ireland.

Assalamualaykum WarahmatuLLAh...

It's been quite a while since i dedicate and pour my thought into thinking serious things. I may outline tonnes of excuses to this mere neglect and ignorance, but i couldn't care less. People have their own problem to tend to.

Before my main topic get swayed by my not-so-fully-aware-postcall-mind, I'll get straight into the point.

I suddenly feel like discussing this issue in my blog. Probably taken aback from the recent heated discussion in local Malaysian Newspaper about the Kerajaan Perpaduan.

I told myself,"This kind of tribulation ought to find it's way, sooner or later". And the not-so-helpful media make the issue seems a bit too sour for a main course.

We were thought about Arkanul Baiah from Imam Hassan al-Banna, since we were young. Those 20 main highlights are still fresh in my mind, eventhough sometimes I do forgot, and sometimes I just can't comprehend. But in the end of the day, those pillars are good guidelines for Islamic organisation I suppose.

No:6 - Taat

Being obedience first to Allah and RasuluLLah, then to your leader whether you like it or not, (as sometimes the things that you dislikes are good for you).

This main pillar is not only to ensure that there is unity in Islam and in Islamic organisation, it also prevents the enemy from shattering us to little pieces.

There are few example of disobedience to leaders that I would like to highlight:

1. I believe we all know, there was once when Thalut's forces set off leaving their territory to face a war with their enemy. 

 After travelling for quite some distances, Thalut called out to his forces, "Verily, Allah will test you at the stream: if any drinks of its water, He goes not with my army: Only those who taste not of it go with me: A mere sip out of the hand is excused." Thalut said loudly like what have been recounted in the Qur'an in surah Al-Baqarah, verse 249.

Not long afterwards, the expedition stumbled upon a river. Naturally Thalut's party was in thirst.Some of the members of the expedition who did not have strong fighting spirits, drank the water from the river until they had got rid of their thirsts

~medically speaking, I believe that Thalut has foreseen the weakness that may fall upon his men if they drank too much water in their current condition : thirsty and in the hot desert. Electrolyte imbalances,haemodynamic instability and physiologic disturbances, all may contribute to weakness and failure, both literally to the body and to the war itself. However, as part of the army decided to disobey, this foreseen event obviously befall upon them.~

2. The defeat and reflections from War of Hunain, during Prophet Muhammad time.

3. Closer to our own decade, is when Imam Hassan al-banna ordered his men to shave their beard and moustache. Some of them decided to disobey and keep their beard and moustache, as they said ; Imam Hassan al-Banna has lost his mind and willing to give orders against the sunnah. Eventhough, in reality, he was trying to protect his men from being recognized by the local authorities.

Unfortunate enough, that the men didn't see through their leader's order. And they got caught by the local authorities, and hence being sent to the underground cell in Egypt for being a member of ikhwanul muslimin.

Plenty other examples of disobedience to Ulil Amri happened in the past, and I truly believe that these examples are outlined to us as a reminder.

Thus, in the current issue of Kerajaan Perpaduan, we should clarify the stand of our leaders and take into consideration in regards to how what and why certain decisions are made by them. COnflicts won't add much to our streght, and would just benefit the enemy.

And my ultimate point is :: ~really hope that Tn Guru and Ustaz Nasha ( and supporter of these two opinions) finds the mutual understanding soon. Conflicting opinions won't harm, it will increase our maturity and dexterity!Given that proper discussion to clear the misuderstanding is en route. Yosh!!Stay Positive! (I would like to think so)~

May we be led to the right way.

Ameen.

Assalamualaykum warahmatuLLAh..

AlhamduliLLAh, summer is here again! We've got to enjoy the bright sunlight once again, and a bit of heat won't harm.

Nevertheless, while the irish and caucasians are enjoying sunbathing, we, the Malaysian would walk under an umberella, or having a picnic under the shades. Hehe, so much for being typical.

One thing about summer is, the daytime would lenghten.. for example at the moment, the Subh prayer is at 2.50a.m, sun rise at 5.30a.m.. then the maghrib prayer is not until 10.00 p.m. Orang kate, kalau puasa, parah la sikit. But then again, alah bisa tegal binasa.(or something like that).

So much for enjoying the summer, I was post-call on last Tuesday, ( for those who doesn't understand, postcall on Tuesday simply means that you came to work on Monday either at 9.00 or 7.00 a.m depending on your specialty, then work work work work overnight, then work work work on Tuesday, and only go home around 5 or 6.00 p.m on Tuesday). So, again, I was postcall on Tuesday, went back home, making up some dinner and went to my room while waiting for the dinner to be readily edible.

As far as I remember, I only went to my room, roaming around and sit on the bed. And the next thing I remember was waking up at 9.30. The sun was shining brightly through the little opening in between the curtain in my room.

Gelabah.

Few things flew trough my mind.

AstagfirulLLah. Aku tak solat maghrib and isya' ke semalam. Let alone..Subuh pun dah terlepas lah macam ni. And another thing was.. OMG! I'm dead.  Tentu-tentu kene marah sebab pergi kerja lambat. huhu. dahla Limerick ni tempat puaka.Pantang orang buat salah..huhu..

Without thinking much, I grab my handphone. Ingatkan nak call Sinead, my SHO. Just to tell her that I'm going to be late.

Phew.. fortunately, terpandang jam kat laptop. It's 9.32 PM!!

Kyaaa!!! Nasib baik tak call Sinead. haha. kalau tak tentu ku malu besok hari.

Dan ku pun bersyukur banyak-banyak sebab eventhough that little panic moment, I did not miss much.

Patutlah orang kate jangan tidor lepas asar. Nak masuk maghrib.

Otak jadik weng.

And the bright sunlight menambahkan lagi disorientation ku. haha.

Kalau buat Mini Mental State Examination masa tu, mesti confirm aku dapat jawapan macam makcik delirious!

haha.

That's it.

Again, today, I'm postcall.

Hopefully tak disorientated lagi.

haha.

Moga Allah tak tarik nikmat akal yang waras dariku dan dari kalian. Ameen.

Fasyiezha Asyrien Abdul HamidI was bleep at 4 in the morning to review this patient with “Jerking Episode, lasting for half a minute, query seizure”. i asked the nurse, was it witnessed? And they said no. They only know it happening because they heard the bed rocking from the nurses’ station. Then I came, reviewed the patient, and guess what! The patient torted ,” I was having a DREAM!” OMG!! Am i a dream doctor now??

 Nur Ezzah Abd Rahim at 7:18am June 13

is that seriously happening? huhu..maybe the nurses were the ones having ‘absent’ seizure..

 Zaihasra Halil at 9:45am June 13

hahha itulah die nurse! @#ss

 Aimy Abdullah at 10:01am June 13

omg!!!! apparently going in to actually see patient and asking them what’s wrong is not a nursing job….@#$%^& gak la

 Aziah Ahmad at 11:07am June 13

hahaha..omg…what were the nurses doing? FB-ing i assume..huuhuuu

 Najmi Nadzir at 11:41am June 13

sekeh jer nurse2 tu..

 Nurul Wahidah at 9:08pm June 13

vogue..ko isi la incidental form hahaha

 Fasyiezha Asyrien Abdul Hamid at 10:12pm June 13

wahid: haha.. tak kuase aku. aku tak jumpe nice words untuk diisik ke form tersebut. atau patutkah ku cadangkan training semula? haha.

ezzah : welcome to world of internship. haha..

zai n aimy: haha, hati-hati sket. ada jururawat kat fb aku ni. haha… Read More

jia: awak selamat sebab jururawat ni tentu2 tak leh nak serang awak. haha.

najmi: well, sebab salah satu syarat jadik doktor is apparently having an altruistic trait of being patience beyond the reach of human nature.and, welcome to our club!

 Fasyiezha Asyrien Abdul Hamid at 10:20pm June 13

and not to forget, ye ezzah.. antara request2 oncall yang lainnya berbunyik ,

” doktor2, heater kat ward ni tak berfungsi,”,

“doktor, pacemaker patient ni yang baru masuk pagi tadi tak picking up signal (pabila patient itu asymptomatic dan gembira).” ( dan ku pun bercita-cita untuk jawab, yes alert the emergency theatre and call the cardiothoracic consultant because I’M GOING TO FIX IT NOW. STAT! “)… Read More

” Doktor, sila review patient ni dan increase lasix, sebab die breathless.” ( dan patient itu dalam proses of dying, with chyene-stokes respiration and pupil not reactive to light)
~ rase cam nak nyanyi lagu evanescence: bring me to life…

So, FYI, di malam hari, intern adalah super doctor yang boleh solve semua problem yang apparently consultant tak selesaikan siang hari yer.

Selamat datang ke alam serba boleh! haha

 Aimy Abdullah at 1:28am June 14

opppssss…terlupe…jururawats…..

 Aziah Ahmad at 10:32am June 14

ooppss..kekeke..selamba jek mengata..hehe..wah, mmg serba bolih intern eh..huuhuu..or it’s u yang serba bolih..hehehe

Assalamualaykum warahmatuLLAh.

Fed-up.

One word, explains it all.

Referring to my previous entry regarding my complaint to the HSE, Risk Management Officer and Hospital Management, a very prompt and impressive action was taken by the appropriate bodies.

However, some low line ethics deficient group of people whom I anonymously label as N**SE, was really really thick headed and thought I was putting up a fight with them.

Cacat.

I thought that was the most logical thing to do to provide a safer working place for people who work in the hospital. But nonetheless, these group of people who most of the time would gather around in the station, doing nothing but gossiping have it all wrong.

One of ketua kepada golongan anonymous ni rang me one morning, (and not to my suprise at all), she was trying really hard to live in denial. Denying every single truth. She was like.. "I never heard this before and there is sharp box definitely in this ward now!" ha-ha. come on. I mean let's be honest. You're not more than just covering your own ass!

They made a get back to me. Contacted my consultant and told him that I was initiating a fight with them. Aha. what the heck. agaknye mereka ni memang dilahirkan dengan innate ability to lie.

Liars liars pants on fire!

Anyway, bak kate orang, berani kerana benar. Benar itu memang payah. and I might not be the best truthful person in here, but to my conscience, I was actually acting under my professional thought ( with decent amount of frustration).

Furthermore, we had this intern evaluation and feedback Session with our intern Tutor, one of the best consultant in here. In the end of the session, I was asking a permission to highlight my point.

" Just before we finished, can I just highlight one thing please?" kata ku dengan sopan kepada Dr O Hare.

Dia dengan machonye mengangguk dan membenarkan ku berkata-kata.

hehe. So there I go again. I make the same complaint in the round table meeting.
And to my suprise, ALL THE INTERNS totally agreed with me, and gave their full support. And Dr O Hare decided to brought up this issue to the Board Meeting.

What a relief! At last, there is somebody with conscious mind to listen to our tiny voices!

And just an hour ago my SHO and James told me that my email to the HSE is currently being circulated to the wards. OMG! takut giler. Hopefully I wont get into anymore troubles with golongan N ni. huhu..

Itulah coretan hari ni.

Malam ni oncall.

huhu.

Mudah-mudahan Allah beri kemudahan pada urusanku dan kalian.
Ameen.

Assalamualaykum warahmatuLLAH.

uh. after a while putting up with the deficiency(ies) in Limerick Hospital, I've decided that I couldn't put up anymore with the lack of safety awareness in here. It might be small and trivial matter, but to me, it is a super extravagant matter that might affect my career and life neverendingly.

So, in order to see some action taken, daku pun menulis kepada HSE complaint manager, kepada risk management kat MWRH Limerick ni dan mungkin kalau tak ada juga respond...  I would definitely go to the media about this. This matter is ridiculously beyond my expectation. haihhhh... bukanlah ku hendak berlagak seperti obnoxious cow sticking my nose in the air. But kurase, perkara sebegini perlu diperhatikan. Kebajikan semua.hehe..

So to cut things short, this is my letter to the HSE .. and it would be very interesting to see what is going to happen next.

From : Fasyiezha Asyrien Abdul Hamid <abdulhaf@tcd.ie>
To:  yoursay@hse.ie

date: 29 May 2009 10:39
subject: URGENT : HEALTH HAZARD IN HOSPITAL.
mailed-bytcd.ie

Dear,

I am currently a medical intern in the MWRH Limerick. I am lodging a complaint in regard to deficiency of SHARP BOX in most of the wards in the hospital. For example, i have been requesting almost everyday for more than four weeks in 2D for SHARP box  that fit into the white cannulation tray. But none of these are available. Furthermore, the condition of MOST sharp boxes in the whole hospital as general is SEVERELY DANGEROUS , IMPENDING NEEDLE STICK INJURIES TO  staffs, patients and passersby. They are either unavailable or FULL BEYOND DANGEROUS LIMIT  with sharps sticking out from the mouth of the tiny boxes.

Furthermore, for oncall services on the ward, when we have to cannulate or venesect a patient on the ward at night, the poor and insufficient light source at the bedside will double this risk of hazard.

This is clearly not a safe working place and is clearly a major health hazard to the hospital environment. I would reckon that in the near future, legal action may be taken by an unfortunate individual who sustained NEEDLE stick injuries from this lack of safety vigilance. I strongly urge that an action being taken PROMPTLY to investigate and improvise this matter for providing us a safer working place. In addition, it would be very interesting if you want to carry out an audit or check record on the frequency of needle stick injuries in this Hospital that maybe obtainable from the occupational health department.

Many thanks for your undivided attention.

Regards,
DR FASYIEZHA ASYRIEN ABDUL HAMID
MEDICAL INTERN.

Dan replynye berbunyi :

YOURSAY <yoursay@hse.ie>
to: Fasyiezha Asyrien Abdul Hamid <abdulhaf@tcd.ie>

29 May 2009 12:36
subject: RE: [Possible Spam] URGENT : HEALTH HAZARD IN HOSPITAL.

12:36 (4 hours ago) Reply

Our Reference number:  YSYS/0476/05/2009
 
Dear Dr. Hamid,
 
I would like to thank you for your correspondence dated the 29th May 2009. The Health Service Executive has in place delegated officers authorised to investigate complaints on Professor Drumm's behalf. The issues you have raised are quantified and reported on.
 
In line with the Health Service Executive Complaints Policy & Procedure I have forwarded your correspondence to Mr. Mark Sparling, General Manager, HSE-West, Mid Western Regional Hospital, Dooradoyle, Limerick. Mr. Sparling's office will be in contact with you directly.
 
If you have any further queries in relation to your complaint please contact Mr. Sparling's office directly.
 
If you are unhappy with this investigation you can request a review of your complaint.   Please contact this office where a Review Officer will be assigned to review your complaint. In the event that you are still dissatisfied with the outcome of the review you can then refer your complaint to the Office of the Ombudsman, 18 Lower Leeson Street, Dublin 2, Telephone: 01 6395600, LoCall: 1890 223030 (from outside 01 area), Fax: 01 6395674, E-mail: ombudsman@ombudsman.gov.ie
 
 Kind regards,
 
 
Lisa Monahan
Consumer Affairs Corporate Office
Office of the CEO

Oh . betapa ku harap. benda ini memberi kemaslahatan untuk kite kite yg berkerja kat dunia Ireland ni.

But to be frank again.. benda ni tak penah jadik kat TALLAGHT HOSPITAL. where i worked before. haha.

conclusion : LIMERICK memang kodi!

Sekian.

urusan melepaskan perasaan selesai.

moga ada penyelesaian mengikut.

ameen.

Addenum:

    By the way, for the non medics, sharp boxes are specialized box for safely disposing sharp and dangerous gadjets, contohnye jarum injection, jarum cannulla.. benda ni penting sebab, obviously jarum-jarum tu dah digunakan untuk mencucuk orang. and we never know if orang-orang tersebut ada HIV positive ke, Hepatitis ke.. and segala jenis kuman-kuman yang boleh transmitted melalui needle stick injuries. kalau tercucuk kat kite, obviously risiko untuk dapat HIV positive dan sebagainye adalah tinggi.

Assalamualaykum warahmatuLLAh.

Sabar. Patience.

Since starting working, my definition of those things have been drastically changed.My nature of being a human is truly tested. If before, it would've took a mountain before I can be cranky.. but now, I'm much more impatience than ever.

Flabergasted by the fact, I'm starting to contemplate about myself.

Lapar, masih boleh bersabar

Tak cukup tidur, masih bersabar lagi.

Berkejar ke sana ke mari ( and if possible, splitting myself into two or three or buat tajuu kage bunshin no jutsu so that I can be in multiple places at a time,) masih boleh bersabar lagi.

Being bleeped over and over again by nurses, over small shitty tiny little stupid things, masih boleh bersabar lagi.

Being bugged by para VHI positive ( private and high class) people about how they should be treated with special extra care, masih boleh senyum dan sabar lagi, ....walaupun almost at the edge...

but as those little things piled up... skala kesabaran ku goes bleep bleep with red signal.. macam super mario yang dah nak habis nyawa.

haihh....syiezha san.. ganbare mas.

Sabar itu bukanlah sekadar perkara yang kita borak-borak dalam kelas agama, dalam ceramah or dalam usrah macam dulu kala.

Sabar itu satu praktikal.

Sabar itu ujian dari Tuhan

Sabar itu anugerah.

Sabar itu tak semudah kata.

Sabar itu separuh dari iman.

Andai sabar itu mudah diperoleh. Sudah tentu iman itu mudah dijual beli.

Sabar itu perkara besar.

Oh Alangkah.

Allah, anugerahkan daku kesabaran.

titik.

layout changed.

simple.

ini hasilnye

rasa macam beginner dalam blogging.

noktah.

Assalamualaykum warahmatuLLah..

Another long weekend had just passed. And to my amazement, I survived! AlhamduliLLAH.

Huhu.. being stucked in the hospital since 1200 on Saturday and only went back home on Monday at 1730, made my mind go on autopilot mode. Terasa macam otak terasa numb. By monday morning, i felt like my head go weng-weng, post call jet lag , i call it. My other colleague asked me, *dengan nada innocent mereka*,

" where did you fly to? I knew you went to London last weekend, you shouldn't have jet lag from short haul flight"

rase nak jerit kat telinge dia.." Baaka! i'm having the jet lag from being too long in the hospital. ha-ha. such a horrible long haul long hours flight!"

By the time ku kuar dari pintu hospital, matahari terasa sangat menyilaukan.

and ah juga, tidak ketinggalan nurse-nurse yang sangat menyampahkan mula mengulang-ngulang soalan dan jawapan macam mesin penjawab telefon yang telah merosak. kepala ku pusing. wuhuhu. mujurlah clinical judgement ku masih lagi di tahap tidak merbahayakan.

How on earth such long working hours would be compatible with human life? Allahu a'lam.

Tidak tahu kebodohan macam apakah yang difikirkan para pengatur shift-shift oncall di sini. Sepatutnye die ajar kami jadi robot dan install butang auto pilot pada pusat kami masa medical school dulu! haihhh...

Anyway,

despite all that - being so natural for a tiny little human like me to complaint.. i had such a great weekend learning new stuffs on the ward.

Encountered Supraventricular Tachycardia yang sangat mengobviouskan, not responding to adenosine x 2.. dan akhirnye verapamil menjadik the wonder drung! ha-ha. ( this might sound so lame, tapi kurasa cool sebab setelah macam nak patah pinggang tolak Crash Trolley yang sangat berat tu sebanyak dua kali, akhirnye berjaya jugak ku reset jantung pakcik tu kepada sinus rhythm. alhamduliLLAH.. despite nak kate pemalas punye nurse, tak kesian langsung kat intern yang kecik ni menolak crash trolley sorang-sorang!! )

and few other interesting cases on the ward and admitted through casualty yang agak menarik. Not to forget, high dependcy unit yang macam graveyard on Sunday night. As i was called to pronounce the death of this man, satu gerombolan keluarga macam pasukan bola sepak menunggu bersama-sama priestnya untuk amalan-amalan doa diorang untuk si mati. Dalam cuak-cuak tu ( eventhough dah pronounce death berkali-kali), rasa macam nadi pakcik tu kuat giler. Padahal, ia adalah my own heart beat yang berdebar-debar macam orang berlari seratus meter selama satu saat. takut?  tak gak kot... maybe nervous sikit.

oh.

jam sudah pukul 12 tgh malam.

and i keep on and on typing this rojak nonsense in my blog.

After all. this is post call jet lag.

As i named it.

i'm in dire need for sleep.

As tomorrow will start with more unpredictable mind challenging cases.

fullstop.

wassalam

Assalamualaykum,

For a very long time ever in my life, i was being totally ignorant about the importance of driving. I've always took things for granted and being reliant on the public transports.I would've never imagined a day like this would come that i'm in a desperate need of knowing how to drive. Serious!!

Fine.. maybe it's just me that came too late to realising this fact. Tapi seriously, sejak menjadi wanita bekerjaya ni.. apatah lagi setelah dinasibkan menyambung lagi dua tahun di luar DUblin.. huhu.. sesungguhnya hari ini daku belajar.

Driving is totally penting!

And today, my first ever official driving lesson, yang diamek khas dari Quantum Driving School .. tidak ku sangke..driving tu takler sesusah mane.. (ewah, dengan nada berlagaknye.. hahaks.. i know it's like 10 years too late.. but anyway, better late than never..kan!! )

Sungguh mendebarkanlah tapinye, first driving lesson ni. I'm sure semua orang pun merasakan perasaan yang amat sama. and i don't need to go into great details about my first lesson, it would've sound so lame and boring kan..Driving instructor yang sungguh meyakinkan itu, Sean ( disebut Shawn ) namanya, made my first experience so much easier and relaxing!! haha.. terasa excitednyer!

And in the end of the lesson, Sean kate padaku.. " By the 5th lesson, you'll be flying!". ku tahu ayat itu menyedapkan hati sahaje, and he would've told everybody else the same thing kan. But it made my day anyway!

So that's it.. of you go... lepas ni tidaklah gayat sangat untuk pergi ke galway meneruskan penimbaan ilmu dan mencari rezeki yang halal.. dan sesudah itu ke Sligo pula untuk tujuan yang same..

terasa nak ketawa kuat-kuat sebab excited.Kyaaaaa!!!!

 ~ dan selepas ini untuk mengejar mimpi adalah setapak lebih dekat.. Oh SLK.. perfection redefined once again~ ahaks!!~